Listen, the mornings should be like birthing

By far the hardest part of waking up is the eyes. I feel like the light is such a violent way to force you to open them. Mine sometimes get as if they are being born and lie there not opening and when they do it all hurts in the eye area. But newborns are allowed to cry openly and loudly. For some reason society has banned openly crying for adults. So we wait until we have a crisis to let it all out. What a show in restraint. Amazing, to be honest. The way in which it is decided that once you reach a certain age you shouldn’t do this or that. Less crying, no crying. No display of affection for boys, do not talk about this (sex) at the table, don’t get caught up on that neighbor who suddenly has started looking with lusty eye at you at the tender age of 11. So yes, the hardest part of waking up is the eyes. Maybe a little crying will help, just a little, no major yelling or tightening, not out of rage - that crying consumes more of us that we can afford on regular mornings. No, I mean cry a little like take 5, take a cry in the morning, clear the eyes and the pipes and go about your day. No fuss, nothing to tell anyone because is normal and not a one off time when you let *all* your feelings out. No, this is normal like we would say the child woke up crying (no one actually says it that often because that’s how babies wake up: crying) and no one would bat an eye child - crying - fine. There are words that we naturally accept together that we don’t ever think when we hear them. There’s so much not thinking that we do. They call it run in autopilot. On average we might engage more in no-thinking than in thinking and so like opening the eyes in the morning we find it too much and it hurts. Contraire to opening the eyes thinking can be avoided all together. 

Brain is a freak show collector, is always looking for the strangest relations, for the oddball. When we normalize not thinking, it’s really powerful because we are saying ingrain this in you and never think about it again. Unless something truly remarkable gets connected to it. So the freak collector passes the information to the storage layer, what I call second tier, to be only retrieved in odd situations for the collector. This might as well be the origin of opening your eyes for signaling to pay more attention. After a little while, my eyes get used to the light, then the sun finds every corner of the room and the opposite becomes true: keeping them closed is now as hard as opening them. This juggling that our eye balls do each morning it’s a nice parallel to what I call the beam of life. We move the beam to one side of the other until it’s tilting too much to one side and then we rush to the other. That’s when you might need rest for the whole weekend or time off. Sometimes, (or some people) can keep the beam balanced for the longest period. They are referred to as beaming with life. I struggle with my eyes, and get dizzy at the beams. Yet we march on every day.

There’s not much that we can take away from our bodies, our struggles, but every day with no direct input from us how it runs in autopilot with lots of automatization and triggers. You eat, it processes your food. Probably the most fascinating aspect of our existence, how much gets done on the sidelines, without our input, awareness or will.